Teens are probably going to have sex, and I want to protect them as much as possible. Should I provide my child with information about condoms?

An important part of parenting is providing expectations for our children. Assuming they can't or won't control their passions sets them up for failure. We have often heard that children live what they hear. When we say, "I don't want you to have sex until you are married, but if you do make sure you wear a condom," teens hear that statement as permission. The expectation is vague at best.

Our children should hear from us the expectation that sex is for marriage, and marriage only. We need to provide sound reasons why sex within marriage preserves not only their physical health, but also their social, intellectual, emotional and spiritual well-being.

The societal lie is that condoms will protect them. The truth is that condoms provide very little, if any, protection from most STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). Condoms are most effective against AIDS, but most teens are not getting AIDS, they are getting herpes, HPV and chlamydia.

At what age should I put my daughter on the "pill?"

When we put our daughters on any kind of birth control, we are telling them that having sex before they are married is OK. In fact, we are saying that is what we expect them to do. Instead of protecting our daughters, we place them at great risk physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually and spiritually.

Physically, because birth-control pills offer no protection from STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), and studies show that teens who use birth control rarely use it correctly or consistently because they forget, are uninformed or simply unaware. Most teen pregnancies affect girls who were on some sort of "birth control."

Emotionally, because birth control cannot protect a person's heart. Sex is supposed to be an expression of love. Sex is supposed to be a bond between two people. The most powerful emotion we have is our sexuality, and teens have a difficult time handling the emotional component of sex.

Socially, we know that girls experience immeasurable negative attention from their peers when they are sexually active. They acquire unfavorable stigmas and experience name-calling that can be avoided if they remain virgins until marriage.

Girls suffer intellectually because when they begin having intercourse outside of marriage they fear pregnancy, disease and losing their boyfriends. They find it difficult to concentrate on their schoolwork when they are worried about what might happen to them personally.

Every major religion has prohibitions against premarital sex. Teens' spirituality is affected by the guilt associated with breaking sacred laws. Guilt then affects girls' ability to enjoy the experience of sex as it is meant to be.

A boy should sow his "wild oats" while he can. He is at the peak of his sexuality, why would I tell him to wait until he's married to have sex?

First, remember that there is a law of sowing and reaping, and if you sow "wild oats" there will be some lifelong consequences to pay. The true measure of a man is his ability to control himself, not whether he can bed a woman. No boy ever died because he couldn't have sex, but many young men, because of their lack of self-control, suffer from lifelong painful diseases such as herpes; fatal diseases such as AIDS or diseases such as HPV, which has no symptoms but infects every partner a boy has sex with.

Sex is not just about physical pleasure. It is intended to be the ultimate physical expression of love between two people. It is meant to bond two people together — heart, soul, mind, body and strength. And it does. There are chemicals in our brain that literally bond us together. If that's the case, what are the consequences when the average high school relationship lasts two months? And what does it mean when we learn that the average relationship lasts only two weeks after teens have sex. The emotional baggage that teens carry from premarital sex is profound and lasting.